- attend mass at La Merced, one of the largest Catholic churches here in Guate.
- take communion, even though I'm not Catholic. (insert evil laugh)
- buy fresh, delicious vegetables from the central market. On average, I pay about 50 quetzales for seven or eight pounds of veggies. Btw- that's about $6.50
- walk everywhere, except on the weekends when I take the bus to Zone 10.
- throw used TP in the trash can instead of in the toilet (TMI?).
- line dry my clothes.
- hand-wash dirty dishes in the absence of a dishwasher.
- get angry when men say gross things as I walk down the street.
- kiss people on the cheek when I greet them.
- wonder why other people are laughing because I don't get Guatemalan humor.
Friday, January 31, 2014
How I do.
Here's a list of things that I do these days...
Friday, January 24, 2014
TGIF
This week has been a doozie. It's been quite emotional, to be honest.
This is not meant to be a laundry list of complaints or a "woe is me blog" post. Some weeks are just tough, and this was one. But I don't feel defeated. I have seen the Lord working, and there have been glimmers of hope and joy.
But TGIF!
- I've been processing my sadness and anger over a personnel change in the office. (I've grown quite close to the person leaving, and I really hate to see her go.) Tuesday I bawled for a couple hours. Wednesday I talked with my supervisor at HQ and am now able to be a bit more objective about the situation (although the sadness persists).
- I was part of a failed rescue operation yesterday, which was difficult. And as a result, I had to be part of a debriefing meeting. I really didn't have much to say, so I just listened, but it was interesting and difficult to hear others' frustrations and come to terms with the f-ed up system in which we are working.
- My sweet roommate has had a tough week, and I just hate that for her. It's difficult for me to feel like I am unable to help someone with their troubles.
- And to top it all off, Novak Djokovic got knocked out of the Australian Open. A real tragedy, I know. Seriously- When I found out on Wednesday morning that he had lost, I said to myself "Seems fitting, given the way this week is going."
This is not meant to be a laundry list of complaints or a "woe is me blog" post. Some weeks are just tough, and this was one. But I don't feel defeated. I have seen the Lord working, and there have been glimmers of hope and joy.
- This week we did celebrate IJM-Guatemala's first conviction of the year!
- I feel strongly that I will continue to be friends with the person who is no longer at the office. I have gained a sweet friend, and that is just stinkin' awesome!
- I heard back from Potter's House and have an appointment next week to go learn about their ministry at the city dump and hopefully to get on their schedule to volunteer on the weekends.
- And in all of the aforementioned struggles, the people around me have shown their concern and have loved me well. For that, I am grateful.
But TGIF!
Monday, January 20, 2014
The Toughest Choice
How do you truly let go of a friendship? I'm not sure there really is an answer to this question; but it is one that I have dedicated a lot of thought to recently. A couple weeks ago, I found myself very angry thinking about people who have not stayed in touch since I moved here to Guatemala. I was talking on Skype with a friend, and she asked me about who all I had heard from, and it was only then, when I said it out loud, that I realized how angry I was over not hearing from a number of people.
Since that realization, I have tried to let go of that anger and move towards a place of forgiveness. That is, of course, easier said than done; but I do not want to find myself still angry or bitter if/when those friendships are rekindled. But for now, I am willing and ready to let go of relationships that I find to be draining or in which I am the only one making the effort. At this point in my life, I want my friendships/relationships to be about quantity rather than quality. I realize that there will be times in relationships in which one person cannot give as much as the other, but I think that in general, a true friendship is one of give and take- a 2-way street, so to speak.
I cannot control other people, but that does not mean that others' actions (or inactions, as the case may be) will not affect me. I think a lot of us hold onto the idea that it's not cool to ever get upset. Maybe that's an idea we picked up from our youth pastors. It's ok to acknowledge the hurt that others may cause us to feel. To refuse to do so would do a disservice to our emotional capacity and our innate humanity. We are people who feel, and that is ok. But to hold onto that hurt and allow it to morph into bitterness or a desire for revenge is not ok.
Forgiveness is a difficult choice to make because so often the alternative is so enticing. I admit that very often, I want to be angry at other people. I feel validated in my anger and desire to retaliate. But forgiveness is just that- a choice. And it's one that I want to be able to make.
Since that realization, I have tried to let go of that anger and move towards a place of forgiveness. That is, of course, easier said than done; but I do not want to find myself still angry or bitter if/when those friendships are rekindled. But for now, I am willing and ready to let go of relationships that I find to be draining or in which I am the only one making the effort. At this point in my life, I want my friendships/relationships to be about quantity rather than quality. I realize that there will be times in relationships in which one person cannot give as much as the other, but I think that in general, a true friendship is one of give and take- a 2-way street, so to speak.
I cannot control other people, but that does not mean that others' actions (or inactions, as the case may be) will not affect me. I think a lot of us hold onto the idea that it's not cool to ever get upset. Maybe that's an idea we picked up from our youth pastors. It's ok to acknowledge the hurt that others may cause us to feel. To refuse to do so would do a disservice to our emotional capacity and our innate humanity. We are people who feel, and that is ok. But to hold onto that hurt and allow it to morph into bitterness or a desire for revenge is not ok.
Forgiveness is a difficult choice to make because so often the alternative is so enticing. I admit that very often, I want to be angry at other people. I feel validated in my anger and desire to retaliate. But forgiveness is just that- a choice. And it's one that I want to be able to make.
Monday, January 6, 2014
Check-in
Here we are. In 2014. Is it just me or does it seem strange to see that as the current year? I always remember a project I did with my 2nd grade class at Greater Atlanta Christian School: we made construction paper models of ourselves, and the whole thing was titled "Class of 2004." That seemed like light years away at the time; but here we are...10 years past that. Sheesh! Anyway.... Enough of the boring, obvious talk about chronology and the fact that time passes.
Honestly, not too much to report here. I just felt the need to write a post since it's been a few weeks.
Christmas was good, albeit weird. I went to Honduras to be with some friends in San Pedro Sula. My parents came for the 21th-23rd. I cried when I saw them, which surprised me. I talk to them quite often, but I suppose it's different seeing someone in person as opposed to on a screen. We went to see the Mayan ruins at Copán, which was really cool. And while, at times, I wished that I had been home to enjoy the Christmas traditions I love, I am really grateful that I got to experience Christmas somewhere else.
New Years: So. Many. Fireworks. My roommate and I didn't do much. Seriously- we sat in the living room and read our books (Our wireless was down.) Around 11:30 we went up to our roof, where we had a top-notch view of no fewer than 25 humongous, legit fireworks shows. So awesome!
Things are normal at the office. I find myself either crazy-busy or having to ask for something to do. But it's ok.
And, the most exciting development as of late: I purchased a ticket to go to Atlanta at the end of March, for my visa renewal trip! Thanks to my loyalty to Delta, I only had to pay $79 for the ticket! Delta required 35,000 frequent flyer miles to purchase said ticket, and I had 35,138. That's divine providence if you ask me!
'Til next time...
Honestly, not too much to report here. I just felt the need to write a post since it's been a few weeks.
Christmas was good, albeit weird. I went to Honduras to be with some friends in San Pedro Sula. My parents came for the 21th-23rd. I cried when I saw them, which surprised me. I talk to them quite often, but I suppose it's different seeing someone in person as opposed to on a screen. We went to see the Mayan ruins at Copán, which was really cool. And while, at times, I wished that I had been home to enjoy the Christmas traditions I love, I am really grateful that I got to experience Christmas somewhere else.
New Years: So. Many. Fireworks. My roommate and I didn't do much. Seriously- we sat in the living room and read our books (Our wireless was down.) Around 11:30 we went up to our roof, where we had a top-notch view of no fewer than 25 humongous, legit fireworks shows. So awesome!
Things are normal at the office. I find myself either crazy-busy or having to ask for something to do. But it's ok.
And, the most exciting development as of late: I purchased a ticket to go to Atlanta at the end of March, for my visa renewal trip! Thanks to my loyalty to Delta, I only had to pay $79 for the ticket! Delta required 35,000 frequent flyer miles to purchase said ticket, and I had 35,138. That's divine providence if you ask me!
'Til next time...
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Virgin Mother Kind
Among our many clients here, we have a number of very young mothers. And I'm not talking "16 and pregnant." I mean 11 and 12 years old. It really is outrageous to witness, especially knowing that their status is the direct result of maltreatment by another person. Their innocence, so to speak, and their childhoods have been taken from them, and that is injustice. But despite the ugliness that underlies these stories, there is a thing of beauty there- how the Lord can bring new life out of horrific abuse, and how a girl, who is really just a child herself, can be a loving, nurturing mother.
Last week, I was accompanying a client to an appointment, and I was really just in awe of her ability to be a mother at such a young age. Most girls her age (at least in the States) are preoccupied with seventh grade drama, One Direction, and the Biebs; but here she was, cradling and feeding her baby.
It is an obvious comparison to make, but as I watched her, I couldn't help but think of Jesus' mother. Sure, at that time, girls were betrothed at 12 and 13 years old, but that is still such a tender age. And to think of how scared Mary was at the prospect of becoming a mother in the strangest of circumstances. Not to mention Joseph, who risked being ostracized and going against the rules of his culture in order to support Mary and walk alongside her in that journey that put them at odds with their community. I am not comparing myself to Joseph here, but I think that walking alongside those whom society has cast aside is noteworthy.
While I am pretending to be a Catholic here in Guatemala, I am a dyed-in-the-wool Protestant. I think that as Protestants, we are hesitant of liking Mary too much; and while I do think that we should be careful, there are great lessons to be learned from her. And while it saddens me to think of the horrors these young girls here in Guatemala have gone through, it has been cool to see their stories in light of how God has worked in similar circumstances that gave us the greatest gift of all.
Last week, I was accompanying a client to an appointment, and I was really just in awe of her ability to be a mother at such a young age. Most girls her age (at least in the States) are preoccupied with seventh grade drama, One Direction, and the Biebs; but here she was, cradling and feeding her baby.
It is an obvious comparison to make, but as I watched her, I couldn't help but think of Jesus' mother. Sure, at that time, girls were betrothed at 12 and 13 years old, but that is still such a tender age. And to think of how scared Mary was at the prospect of becoming a mother in the strangest of circumstances. Not to mention Joseph, who risked being ostracized and going against the rules of his culture in order to support Mary and walk alongside her in that journey that put them at odds with their community. I am not comparing myself to Joseph here, but I think that walking alongside those whom society has cast aside is noteworthy.
While I am pretending to be a Catholic here in Guatemala, I am a dyed-in-the-wool Protestant. I think that as Protestants, we are hesitant of liking Mary too much; and while I do think that we should be careful, there are great lessons to be learned from her. And while it saddens me to think of the horrors these young girls here in Guatemala have gone through, it has been cool to see their stories in light of how God has worked in similar circumstances that gave us the greatest gift of all.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Ingratitude
Recently, my friend, Mazi, posted a blog entry about gratitude and its counterpart- ingratitude. (link below) - We know that if we want to sow contentment in our lives rather than discontentment, we would be wise to ruminate on that which we are grateful for. But, she writes, "sometimes-oftentimes- the healthiest thing we can do is to admit 'I'm unthankful for this. I don't want this.'" By doing so, we are taking "the first step in surrendering those burdens [we] were never intended to solely bear."
These first few months here in Guatemala have been full of highs and lows. I either love something or hate it. I love that I can buy wonderful, fresh vegetables at insanely cheap prices. But I hate the fact that hooligans are constantly setting off fireworks at all hours of the day and night. I am grateful to have a safe place to live. But I am not grateful for the lack of hot water to wash dishes, clothes, and my hands. I am grateful for this opportunity to live in a different culture and be stretched in so many ways. But I sure as hell am not grateful for the homesickness I feel every day nor the fact that it is near-impossible to make friends here. I could go on, but you get the point.
I really appreciate Mazi's post, especially because her words give legitimacy to the reality of ingratitude. Admittedly, I am a pessimist, but I still feel terrible whenever I am less-than-pleased with my circumstances. But in the past few days, as I've contemplated Mazi's words, I have grown to believe that it is absolutely ok to not be stoked about everything that's going on. Of course, I don't want to be constantly looking for things to be annoyed about, nor do I want to keep a running list of things I'm not thankful for; but I appreciate the permission to admit that some things just suck.
I am grateful for a lot. But I am also ungrateful for a lot. And that's ok.
Voice Lessons for Today- Ungrateful
These first few months here in Guatemala have been full of highs and lows. I either love something or hate it. I love that I can buy wonderful, fresh vegetables at insanely cheap prices. But I hate the fact that hooligans are constantly setting off fireworks at all hours of the day and night. I am grateful to have a safe place to live. But I am not grateful for the lack of hot water to wash dishes, clothes, and my hands. I am grateful for this opportunity to live in a different culture and be stretched in so many ways. But I sure as hell am not grateful for the homesickness I feel every day nor the fact that it is near-impossible to make friends here. I could go on, but you get the point.
I really appreciate Mazi's post, especially because her words give legitimacy to the reality of ingratitude. Admittedly, I am a pessimist, but I still feel terrible whenever I am less-than-pleased with my circumstances. But in the past few days, as I've contemplated Mazi's words, I have grown to believe that it is absolutely ok to not be stoked about everything that's going on. Of course, I don't want to be constantly looking for things to be annoyed about, nor do I want to keep a running list of things I'm not thankful for; but I appreciate the permission to admit that some things just suck.
I am grateful for a lot. But I am also ungrateful for a lot. And that's ok.
Voice Lessons for Today- Ungrateful
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Good Things
My hunch is that I'm probably not alone in my tendency to focus on the negative over the positive. And being in a new/different environment, far away from the people and things that I love seems to have amplified those things that are difficult. With that in mind, I just want to share some good things that have happened recently...
- Last night was the wedding of one of my closest friends- ValerieNelson Strawhorn. While I wish I had been there, I got the next-best thing: one of my other sweet friends, Casey, printed a photo of me and took it to the wedding, where my friends (and my parents) did a photo shoot all over the wedding reception. I was truly overcome with happiness to see their smiling faces and especially to be acknowledged in such a fun, sweet way.
- Today I went to see "Catching Fire," and I absolutely loved it!
- This evening, my roommate, Bennett, and I had dinner with our fellow intern, Rene, and his precious family. His older son was playing with his toy cars under the table, and he invited me to join him. After I managed to get myself situated under the table, he sweetly handed me one of his cars to play with. - Such a simple gesture from a small child, but it truly warmed my heart so much.
Praise the Lord for simple gifts.
- Last night was the wedding of one of my closest friends- Valerie
- Today I went to see "Catching Fire," and I absolutely loved it!
- This evening, my roommate, Bennett, and I had dinner with our fellow intern, Rene, and his precious family. His older son was playing with his toy cars under the table, and he invited me to join him. After I managed to get myself situated under the table, he sweetly handed me one of his cars to play with. - Such a simple gesture from a small child, but it truly warmed my heart so much.
Praise the Lord for simple gifts.
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