How do you truly let go of a friendship? I'm not sure there really is an answer to this question; but it is one that I have dedicated a lot of thought to recently. A couple weeks ago, I found myself very angry thinking about people who have not stayed in touch since I moved here to Guatemala. I was talking on Skype with a friend, and she asked me about who all I had heard from, and it was only then, when I said it out loud, that I realized how angry I was over not hearing from a number of people.
Since that realization, I have tried to let go of that anger and move towards a place of forgiveness. That is, of course, easier said than done; but I do not want to find myself still angry or bitter if/when those friendships are rekindled. But for now, I am willing and ready to let go of relationships that I find to be draining or in which I am the only one making the effort. At this point in my life, I want my friendships/relationships to be about quantity rather than quality. I realize that there will be times in relationships in which one person cannot give as much as the other, but I think that in general, a true friendship is one of give and take- a 2-way street, so to speak.
I cannot control other people, but that does not mean that others' actions (or inactions, as the case may be) will not affect me. I think a lot of us hold onto the idea that it's not cool to ever get upset. Maybe that's an idea we picked up from our youth pastors. It's ok to acknowledge the hurt that others may cause us to feel. To refuse to do so would do a disservice to our emotional capacity and our innate humanity. We are people who feel, and that is ok. But to hold onto that hurt and allow it to morph into bitterness or a desire for revenge is not ok.
Forgiveness is a difficult choice to make because so often the alternative is so enticing. I admit that very often, I want to be angry at other people. I feel validated in my anger and desire to retaliate. But forgiveness is just that- a choice. And it's one that I want to be able to make.
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