Here we are. In 2014. Is it just me or does it seem strange to see that as the current year? I always remember a project I did with my 2nd grade class at Greater Atlanta Christian School: we made construction paper models of ourselves, and the whole thing was titled "Class of 2004." That seemed like light years away at the time; but here we are...10 years past that. Sheesh! Anyway.... Enough of the boring, obvious talk about chronology and the fact that time passes.
Honestly, not too much to report here. I just felt the need to write a post since it's been a few weeks.
Christmas was good, albeit weird. I went to Honduras to be with some friends in San Pedro Sula. My parents came for the 21th-23rd. I cried when I saw them, which surprised me. I talk to them quite often, but I suppose it's different seeing someone in person as opposed to on a screen. We went to see the Mayan ruins at Copán, which was really cool. And while, at times, I wished that I had been home to enjoy the Christmas traditions I love, I am really grateful that I got to experience Christmas somewhere else.
New Years: So. Many. Fireworks. My roommate and I didn't do much. Seriously- we sat in the living room and read our books (Our wireless was down.) Around 11:30 we went up to our roof, where we had a top-notch view of no fewer than 25 humongous, legit fireworks shows. So awesome!
Things are normal at the office. I find myself either crazy-busy or having to ask for something to do. But it's ok.
And, the most exciting development as of late: I purchased a ticket to go to Atlanta at the end of March, for my visa renewal trip! Thanks to my loyalty to Delta, I only had to pay $79 for the ticket! Delta required 35,000 frequent flyer miles to purchase said ticket, and I had 35,138. That's divine providence if you ask me!
'Til next time...
Monday, January 6, 2014
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Virgin Mother Kind
Among our many clients here, we have a number of very young mothers. And I'm not talking "16 and pregnant." I mean 11 and 12 years old. It really is outrageous to witness, especially knowing that their status is the direct result of maltreatment by another person. Their innocence, so to speak, and their childhoods have been taken from them, and that is injustice. But despite the ugliness that underlies these stories, there is a thing of beauty there- how the Lord can bring new life out of horrific abuse, and how a girl, who is really just a child herself, can be a loving, nurturing mother.
Last week, I was accompanying a client to an appointment, and I was really just in awe of her ability to be a mother at such a young age. Most girls her age (at least in the States) are preoccupied with seventh grade drama, One Direction, and the Biebs; but here she was, cradling and feeding her baby.
It is an obvious comparison to make, but as I watched her, I couldn't help but think of Jesus' mother. Sure, at that time, girls were betrothed at 12 and 13 years old, but that is still such a tender age. And to think of how scared Mary was at the prospect of becoming a mother in the strangest of circumstances. Not to mention Joseph, who risked being ostracized and going against the rules of his culture in order to support Mary and walk alongside her in that journey that put them at odds with their community. I am not comparing myself to Joseph here, but I think that walking alongside those whom society has cast aside is noteworthy.
While I am pretending to be a Catholic here in Guatemala, I am a dyed-in-the-wool Protestant. I think that as Protestants, we are hesitant of liking Mary too much; and while I do think that we should be careful, there are great lessons to be learned from her. And while it saddens me to think of the horrors these young girls here in Guatemala have gone through, it has been cool to see their stories in light of how God has worked in similar circumstances that gave us the greatest gift of all.
Last week, I was accompanying a client to an appointment, and I was really just in awe of her ability to be a mother at such a young age. Most girls her age (at least in the States) are preoccupied with seventh grade drama, One Direction, and the Biebs; but here she was, cradling and feeding her baby.
It is an obvious comparison to make, but as I watched her, I couldn't help but think of Jesus' mother. Sure, at that time, girls were betrothed at 12 and 13 years old, but that is still such a tender age. And to think of how scared Mary was at the prospect of becoming a mother in the strangest of circumstances. Not to mention Joseph, who risked being ostracized and going against the rules of his culture in order to support Mary and walk alongside her in that journey that put them at odds with their community. I am not comparing myself to Joseph here, but I think that walking alongside those whom society has cast aside is noteworthy.
While I am pretending to be a Catholic here in Guatemala, I am a dyed-in-the-wool Protestant. I think that as Protestants, we are hesitant of liking Mary too much; and while I do think that we should be careful, there are great lessons to be learned from her. And while it saddens me to think of the horrors these young girls here in Guatemala have gone through, it has been cool to see their stories in light of how God has worked in similar circumstances that gave us the greatest gift of all.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Ingratitude
Recently, my friend, Mazi, posted a blog entry about gratitude and its counterpart- ingratitude. (link below) - We know that if we want to sow contentment in our lives rather than discontentment, we would be wise to ruminate on that which we are grateful for. But, she writes, "sometimes-oftentimes- the healthiest thing we can do is to admit 'I'm unthankful for this. I don't want this.'" By doing so, we are taking "the first step in surrendering those burdens [we] were never intended to solely bear."
These first few months here in Guatemala have been full of highs and lows. I either love something or hate it. I love that I can buy wonderful, fresh vegetables at insanely cheap prices. But I hate the fact that hooligans are constantly setting off fireworks at all hours of the day and night. I am grateful to have a safe place to live. But I am not grateful for the lack of hot water to wash dishes, clothes, and my hands. I am grateful for this opportunity to live in a different culture and be stretched in so many ways. But I sure as hell am not grateful for the homesickness I feel every day nor the fact that it is near-impossible to make friends here. I could go on, but you get the point.
I really appreciate Mazi's post, especially because her words give legitimacy to the reality of ingratitude. Admittedly, I am a pessimist, but I still feel terrible whenever I am less-than-pleased with my circumstances. But in the past few days, as I've contemplated Mazi's words, I have grown to believe that it is absolutely ok to not be stoked about everything that's going on. Of course, I don't want to be constantly looking for things to be annoyed about, nor do I want to keep a running list of things I'm not thankful for; but I appreciate the permission to admit that some things just suck.
I am grateful for a lot. But I am also ungrateful for a lot. And that's ok.
Voice Lessons for Today- Ungrateful
These first few months here in Guatemala have been full of highs and lows. I either love something or hate it. I love that I can buy wonderful, fresh vegetables at insanely cheap prices. But I hate the fact that hooligans are constantly setting off fireworks at all hours of the day and night. I am grateful to have a safe place to live. But I am not grateful for the lack of hot water to wash dishes, clothes, and my hands. I am grateful for this opportunity to live in a different culture and be stretched in so many ways. But I sure as hell am not grateful for the homesickness I feel every day nor the fact that it is near-impossible to make friends here. I could go on, but you get the point.
I really appreciate Mazi's post, especially because her words give legitimacy to the reality of ingratitude. Admittedly, I am a pessimist, but I still feel terrible whenever I am less-than-pleased with my circumstances. But in the past few days, as I've contemplated Mazi's words, I have grown to believe that it is absolutely ok to not be stoked about everything that's going on. Of course, I don't want to be constantly looking for things to be annoyed about, nor do I want to keep a running list of things I'm not thankful for; but I appreciate the permission to admit that some things just suck.
I am grateful for a lot. But I am also ungrateful for a lot. And that's ok.
Voice Lessons for Today- Ungrateful
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Good Things
My hunch is that I'm probably not alone in my tendency to focus on the negative over the positive. And being in a new/different environment, far away from the people and things that I love seems to have amplified those things that are difficult. With that in mind, I just want to share some good things that have happened recently...
- Last night was the wedding of one of my closest friends- ValerieNelson Strawhorn. While I wish I had been there, I got the next-best thing: one of my other sweet friends, Casey, printed a photo of me and took it to the wedding, where my friends (and my parents) did a photo shoot all over the wedding reception. I was truly overcome with happiness to see their smiling faces and especially to be acknowledged in such a fun, sweet way.
- Today I went to see "Catching Fire," and I absolutely loved it!
- This evening, my roommate, Bennett, and I had dinner with our fellow intern, Rene, and his precious family. His older son was playing with his toy cars under the table, and he invited me to join him. After I managed to get myself situated under the table, he sweetly handed me one of his cars to play with. - Such a simple gesture from a small child, but it truly warmed my heart so much.
Praise the Lord for simple gifts.
- Last night was the wedding of one of my closest friends- Valerie
- Today I went to see "Catching Fire," and I absolutely loved it!
- This evening, my roommate, Bennett, and I had dinner with our fellow intern, Rene, and his precious family. His older son was playing with his toy cars under the table, and he invited me to join him. After I managed to get myself situated under the table, he sweetly handed me one of his cars to play with. - Such a simple gesture from a small child, but it truly warmed my heart so much.
Praise the Lord for simple gifts.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Messing Up
It's been a rough day. I am having trouble with an assignment I have been given, and it's causing me a lot of anxiety. And about an hour ago, I went with a client to buy something, and when we returned to the office, it appeared that they had pulled a fast one on us. Needless to say, I felt wretched about it. I asked my supervisor to go back to the store with us to help figure out what went wrong. True, the people at the store are the ones who messed up, but I still feel guilty about it. Maybe more so just embarrassed and afraid that I now look incompetent. Seriously- doing anything in one's second language makes it fifteen billion times more difficult. Not to mention the fact that Guatemala uses this weirdo system for taxes: every time you make a purchase, you have to tell them your N.I.T., which is a government-issed number to track purchases. I, of course, don't have one and so am not accustomed to dealing with it. By neglecting to tell the store IJM's N.I.T. I think it made the situation worse. In the end, we were able to return what we bought, and I guess there is no permanent damage done. But why can't I forgive myself?
Every day, I learn more about how I view myself and from where I draw my self-worth. It seems to be falling to pieces here.
Ironically enough, after the debacle with the purchase/money, I received an email from NBCC, telling me that they have received all of my papers for my certification and that I am now, therefore, a Nationally Certified Counselor! (At least I'm accomplished and competent in the U.S.) I feel this need to prove myself here, but it is difficult because I do not fully understand how things work. I want people here to know how smart, accomplished, educated, and capable I am; and I feel as though I look anything but.
In my mind, I know that my worth comes from the Lord and not from my own competence or accomplishments. But knowing and believing are sure as hell not the same thing.
Every day, I learn more about how I view myself and from where I draw my self-worth. It seems to be falling to pieces here.
Ironically enough, after the debacle with the purchase/money, I received an email from NBCC, telling me that they have received all of my papers for my certification and that I am now, therefore, a Nationally Certified Counselor! (At least I'm accomplished and competent in the U.S.) I feel this need to prove myself here, but it is difficult because I do not fully understand how things work. I want people here to know how smart, accomplished, educated, and capable I am; and I feel as though I look anything but.
In my mind, I know that my worth comes from the Lord and not from my own competence or accomplishments. But knowing and believing are sure as hell not the same thing.
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