'Just wanted to "check in" and let y'all know that things are going pretty well. I feel that my last post was a real downer and gives the impression that I am miserable here. It's definitely a steep learning curve, and since I am a perfectionist and want everything done yesterday, it has been an adjustment (and will continue to be, I'm sure).
Each day I feel a bit more comfortable at the office, and I keep telling myself that I cannot expect to feel completely comfortable, competent, or confident. (Good alliteration, huh?) Within that context, I've realized that there is a great contradiction: I so badly want to be helpful and a part of this office, yet I actually dread someone asking me to do anything for fear of messing up or simply just not understanding what I am asked to do. I think that can happen in any arena- for me, at least. If I can't do something perfectly, then I'd rather not do it at all.
That's really lame, I know. I suppose that underlying this internal conflict is nothing more than fear. Fear of failure. Fear of embarrassment. Fear of rejection. Fear of not being "the best." I want that to change. Perhaps that will be one of the many things the Lord will break me of and teach me this next year.
On a lighter note: Today is my birthday! My co-workers decorated my desk, and everyone sang to me after morning prayer time. And my fellow interns took me out for Mexican, where I had to wear a ridiculous sombrero while the waiters sang to me. Despite the embarrassment, I am glad to know where I can get some legit Mexican food here in Guate! I also received two birthday cards and a giant package in the mail!
Hopefully, my roommate and I will have wireless at our apartment soon, and I will be able to post photos!
Oh! My new favorite activity = jumping rope on the roof of my building.
When you post pictures, make sure to get one of you jump roping on the roof. For real.
ReplyDeleteMaybe even a video!
Delete